No Sex for the Wicked

Posted: February 4, 2011 in General Maiming, Random

No SEX?!?!

After romancing all the characters in DA at once!

Because, really, the only reason I’m playing is for the romantic storyline. I’ve finally gotten Alistair to like me, really like me. He even gave me a rose, how sweet. 

And Leilana too, is ready and I would have thought willing.

Zevran thinks I’m cute, but he thinks that about everyone else.

Honestly, the only person I haven’t bothered with is Morrigan. The chick pictured below. Not my style. Still, I’m getting so desparate here, I’m about ready to try anything to push the ‘plot’ forward into action. And no, I don’t have screencaps of my own, because they won’t goddamn give me anything worth screencapping!!!

Okay, here’s a picture of my character.

Here is my bioware social network plot point thingy

It’s really embarrassing to keep on mistaking flirting for sex in the game. Not just because I’ve got an audience of people watching me play, but also because it further proves the idea that gamers, or people who describe themselves as nerds, are socially inept. I’m not socially inept!

Er, what sort of quest would I describe my own relationship as…

Stage 1- You see an NPC with a talky symbol.  You go talk to them, and learn that they are brilliant and single.

Stage 2- Sidequest. Proving that you are not gay, and that you do want to date the NPC.

Stage 3- The awkward initiation.  Drink lots of Jack Daniels rapidly. With courage, throw self at NPC. If unsuccessful, repeat until cutscene of epic bad cliche lines and stuttering plays featuring you and the NPC.

Stage 4- Collect Accomplishment of ‘getting your man’, and gain 5 points in the ‘not a loser’ field. Lose all bonuses to DnD and the ability to complain about sitcoms being unrealistic.


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